thoughts on: hurt feelings

a dirty look, a rude comment, the lack of an invitation.  abrupt or slowly building.  tears prickling your eyes as you try to appear unfazed.  the feeling of inadequacy, failure, embarrassment, shame.  the steps towards recovery: i am not equal to this person’s opinion of me.  perhaps there is something else going on.  i am kind and gentle to myself and my feelings.  i don’t need this person’s constant positive approval to feel worthy.

we all have bad days, when it feels easier to yell at someone than be friendly.  when the littlest remark sends us over the edge.  when we need to knock someone down to our level.  the challenge is not recovering from these days, but rather it is not allowing ourselves to hurt others in the midst of them.  to be hurt, embarrassed, and ashamed are some of the worst feelings in the world.  they make you question yourself, your existence, your worth.  they make you see yourself only through another’s negativity.  we’ve all been there.  felt bullied or like a punching bag.  so how could we make someone else feel this way?  how could we inflict our own failures and pains upon someone else?  the answer is always to be kind, even when it feels impossible.

it is our responsibility as humans to lift each other up, to support each other, and to create a space of positivity, kindness, and love.


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