it’s the opposite of the cliche. not the heartbroken, but the heartbreaker. let me tell you, it hurts just as much. how do you sufficiently apologize to the person you hurt? how do we rectify what we’ve done with the image we have of ourselves? how can we forgive ourselves for being careless, for toying with someone’s emotions, for doing to someone else exactly what we try to protect our own selves from experiencing? how do we forgive ourselves for hurting someone else so intensely? how do you forgive yourself for breaking someone’s heart? why is my concern in forgiving myself and not making it better for the other person?
this is why i don’t drink, people. this is also why i don’t like to wake up at 5 am.