practicing growth

Screen shot 2018-08-05 at 2.03.16 PM.pngthe mistakes, the anger, the passion, the shards of our love are all around.

doomed from the start, i ignored the signs, promises of kisses cured feelings, words healed wounds inflicted by your broken soul.

you shoot me when you are down, you try to get me to your level, you spout the words you think are true but are just misguided, anything i say you claim i play the victim.

you disgust me and then come crawling back.  i forgive you in the name of mental anguish, darkness, and pain.  today is enough, you pushed me too far.

i am strong. i am beautiful.  i am destined for the whole world.  and i will not be reduced to the partner of an angry, lost man.

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words are my own, image from the goddess rebellion

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march picks

bb march picks3.jpg// makeup & skincare //

pacifica coconut essence hydro mist // soooo hydrating and leaves the skin insanely dewy.  like more than tatcha dewy skin mist.  the skin just feels and looks ridiculously healthy.  did i mention it’s $10? plus it’s pacifica, so the ingredients are reliable and pretty darn good.bb march picks5.jpgw3ll people mascara // i mentioned this mascara in my first picks of the year, but at that time i was still using a small sample size.  sometimes i find that full size products differ from their miniature counterparts, but in this case the full size is just as good if not better.  length and volume in a beautifully natural way.

glossier perfecting skin tint in medium // this is always a product i have somewhere and go back to time and again.  even when my skin is at its worst, i love this product.  it evens the skin out just the tiniest touch while looking like glowy nothingness.  i’m using the shade medium since i got the tiniest tan while in california, but i use light or a mix of light and medium in the winter.bb march picks2.jpgmychelle sun shield liquid tint in nude // finally a lightweight, non-white mineral sunscreen.  this shade is a little dark for me now, so it will be perfect over the summer when i get more color.  for now, i love mixing it with my bare minerals complexion rescue in opal if i want more coverage than the glossier skin tint and since my skin is a little sunkissed from california.  they are a perfect mix with a great dewy, hydrated finish.  i think they just realized an untinted version as well.bb march picks1.jpgneutrogena grapefruit body clear // since going off birth control i’ve had some pretty big breakouts on my chest and back.  and the best product for clearing up the body is hands-down this neutrogena body wash.  i’ve been using this since high school and it never fails.  this did have microbeads in it forever and it still has some sort of bead, but i think it’s safer for the environment now…not 100% sure on this.bb march picks4.jpg// etc //

slouching towards bethlehem, joan didion // i am finally delving into joan didion’s works (honestly where have i been?) and am absolutely in love with her.  surprise, surprise!  more to come, but slouching towards bethlehem is a collection of her short stories, most revolving around california during the 60s and 70s.  delicious, truly.bb march picks6.jpglove season 3 // i really enjoyed seasons 1 & 2 of love, but at the same time wasn’t 100% sure.  but when season 3 came around, my love (hehe) for the show really solidified.  they did such an incredible job with the final season – it was truly the perfect wrap up.  and the last episode?  are you kidding?  all the heart eye emojis.

eye buy direct ethereal glasses // my sister told me about eye buy direct, and how affordable and cool their sunglasses are.  i tried to not buy these, but ultimately couldn’t resist.  i originally got polarized lenses but they bothered by eyes, so the company kindly switched the lenses to normal ones, for just the $6 shipping cost (plus a refund for the special lenses).  pretty great customer service and i love knowing these were made especially for me.  mine are the ethereal glasses in champagne with green lenses.bb march picks8.jpgbb march picks7.jpg

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resolutions for my 25th year

my birthday, fortunately and unfortunately, is in the first week of the new year.  while i always come up with new year’s resolutions – and pretty immediately disregard them – this year i’m making resolutions for my new year.  life is pretty hectic and full of change these days, so with these resolutions i’m really looking to ground myself, stick to my routines, and work hard to keep working hard.bb resolutions.JPG// be kind and gentle to myself // truth be told i am absolutely horrible at this, as most of us are.  i think i’ve mentioned this before, but there’s a line that lena dunham mentions at the end of the first season of girls, along the lines of “you could never hate me more than i hate myself, or say worse things than i say to myself.”  and i feel this.  too much.  as humans we are our own harshest critics, but if i can’t treat myself kindly and with gentleness and love, how can i expect others to?  this is a concept that i’ve been working on for years after my sweet therapist flat out told me to do so in those exact words.  i will keep trying, because i deserve it.

// weekend workouts // i’m sorry to mention a workout resolution, but it’s needed!  starting january 8th, i am student teaching full time, 5 days a week.  so with the 8+ hour school day and my 2+ hour commute, i know there is no way i will be working out through the week.  so weekends are my goal.  and that’s just two days – even i can manage that!  i’m desperate to get back into my yoga practice and even running.  i go in and out with my workout habits but i am actually looking forward to taking care of myself in this way again.  are you sensing a theme here?

// become a more experimental cook // or a cook at all!  i’m so bad with meal planning and prep, but i really really want to get better at it.  i’m going to try to be more forward-thinking when i go to the grocery store and have some go-to meals that i can make without too much effort.  actually, i make a great work lunch, but it’s the dinners that i struggle with.  it’s a serious problem when cereal is your favorite food!

// produce less waste // this is a really important one for me.  i’m good about carrying a water bottle and coffee thermos (this is the best one i’ve found) with me all the time, but i have other goals for my waste production.  some of them include: stop using cotton pads in my skincare routine (i’ve been using my hands for my witch hazel but still use cotton for makeup removal), using rags for cleaning instead of paper towels, using more reusable containers for work lunches (i’m looking at purchasing some lunchbots stainless containers), and making use of the bulk section at my grocery store and health food store.  i think these are super easy changes and i am looking forward to making them – now that’s the mark of a good resolution!

// be ok when i slip up // i say this in regards to these resolutions and so many other areas of my life.  like i said earlier, i can be so hard on myself, and as i am entering student teaching i already fear the daily mistakes i am going to make.  i am going to try my darnedest to accept my failures and respond to them accordingly, without getting upset or looking down on myself.  this is probably the hardest resolution i am going to work on, but it’s an important one.

do you have any resolutions for your new year?  happy happy and fresh starts to all!

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the real deal skincare routine

and by real deal i mean this is my totally perfected skincare routine that i have been doing for months without the need or desire to change anything at all.  oh and FINALLY, the post i’ve been promising forever!  because i don’t have much counter space in my bathroom, i keep all my skincare under the sink in this cute container from target.bb skincare1.jpgbb skincare2.jpgthe routine //

i always start by removing whatever makeup is left on my face with garnier micellar water.  i’ve spoken about my love of bioderma before, and this is truly the same product but cheaper and easy to find.   i then wash my face with the la roche posay tolerane hydrating gentle cleanser or earth tu face hydrate and repair balm.  following that i spray the avene eau thermale all over my face and wipe it off with a cotton pad.  i’ve been doing this technique since realizing my apartment water was making me break out and this has totally taken that away.  i should also mention that most nights, and every time i use a balm or oil cleanser, i remove my cleanser with a warm and super soft baby wash cloth.  this is a nice way to a) remove everything from your face, b) keep moisture in more than washing away with water, and c) give a gentle exfoliation to the face.  i think this has made a big difference in the overall texture of my skin, and it’s also just a really nice ritual.bb skincare3.jpgi have been using the thayer’s alcohol-free rose petal witch hazel on and off since about june, but got really serious about using it once or twice a day for the past few months.  i either use a cotton pad or just my hands by pressing it into the skin.  my skin has been so balanced and fresh since using this regularly and i am absolutely seeing the difference!  at night i will apply my aczone acne cream next and let that sink in completely before doing anything else.  i also pop on a little mad hippie eye cream at this time.  if my skin is particularly active, i will apply a small amount of glossier super pure serum before my acne cream, just on the areas where i need it.bb skincare4.jpgbb skincare5.jpga few minutes later, i go in with a hydrating serum.  the jordan samuel hydrate serum has completely replaced my usual hylamide low molecular ha and the difference is very clear.  the hydration just seems more long-lasting than with the hylamide – i really think my skin is now more hydrated all the time vs just when i apply my serum.  even with drastic weather change these days.  the ingredient list boasts more hydrating ingredients like aloe and glycerin, and only for a few more dollars than hylamide.  next i’ll spray a little herbivore rose hibiscus coconut water onto a small dollop of first aid beauty ultra repair cream and mix that little concoction together.  this has been so helpful in getting my lotion to sink in and, again, is keeping my skin hydrated all the time.  after another few minutes, i’ll spray a little more rosewater into whatever oil i’m in the mood for that night.  the two i’m rotating between are the pai bioregenerate and indie lee squalane.  for spot treatments i use the indie lee blemish lotion and the most old school adult acnomel.bb skincare7.jpgbb skincare8.jpgin the morning, if i take a shower, i repeat this process without the acne cream or oil.  if i don’t shower, i  go straight into sunscreen because my skin is still plump and hydrated from the night before.  it  might seem weird but i definitely don’t feel the need to wash my face in the morning, even with water.  because my skin is so dry, i take all the moisture i can get!  as we get into winter i will start mixing in a drop or two of oil with my moisturizer.

the extras //

my favorite masks to use are typically on the hydrating or glow-inducing side, but i also spot treat with a clay mask.  my all-time favorite mask right now is the frank body glow mask.  it gives the skin a glow and light exfoliation, but also has intense hydrating properties.  other masks that give my skin that beautiful glow are the tata harper resurfacing mask and fresh vitamin nectar vibrancy-boosting mask.  i love both of these and just continue to get deluxe samples at sephora!bb skincare9.jpgclay masks that i love are the glossier mega greens galaxy mask and freeman’s feeling beautiful mint and lemon clay mask.  i’ve been using the glossier forever and probably won’t repurchase as the freeman’s does everything i need it to do.  it’s an excellent spot treatment as well; i rarely put this on my whole face.

i always follow a clay mask with a hydrating one, and the ones i keep going back to are the glossier moisturizing moon mask and dr. haushka hydrating mask (linked is the new reformulation).  i found the dr. haushka one at tj maxx, and while it’s a great product, i won’t be repurchasing at the full price.  the glossier one is an old standby that i always have on hand.  besides the clay masks, i remove all of these with the same gentle baby wash cloth that i mentioned earlier.

i think the major notes to take away here, and the major differences, are the avene eau thermale, thayer’s witch hazel, jordan samuel hydrate, and spraying rosewater or any hydrosol into moisturizer and face oil.  this is actually one of the main purposes for hydrosols – to assist your skin in soaking up the most moisture from the products you put on it.  it also helps to thin out any creams or oils that might be harder for your skin to absorb.  neat trick!bb skincare6.jpgi know this seems like a lot of steps, but truly i can do this routine in under 10 minutes.  these products have made a major difference in my dry skin and i don’t see myself changing anything up for quite some time!

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early morning makeup (for a minimalist)

i’ve started student teaching (EEEEEEEEEK), which requires me to commute over an hour at 6 am.  it’s truly not that bad, but it requires me to be very organized the night before and pretty quick in the morning.  after a little experimentation, i’ve got my makeup routine down pat, and i knew you would all want to see it 😉bb early am1.jpgas fall is thankfully making its presence known, i’ve gone back to my layering technique to keep my skin fresh and hydrated.  after using my clinique mineral sunscreen, i’ve been putting generous mix of embryolisse and first aid beauty coconut primer all over my face and neck.  i haven’t been using any base products cause i truly can’t be bothered, so i pop a little glossier stretch concealer in light on any areas that might be a little red or discolored.  sephora bright future concealer in meringue covers up the blemishes that somehow haven’t been too bad.

while letting all that moisture sink into the skin, i curl my lashes with the surratt curlers and apply a light coat of mascara – either pacifica stellar gaze (back to this love!) in supernova (black) or covergirl lash blast volume in black/brown.  then i brush up my brows with a spoolie and pop on a little maybelline clear mascara to keep them in place.

back to the face and here’s where it changes depending on my mood.  after applying a light layer of alima pure pressed powder foundation in macadamia – keeps my skin glowy but not shiny and offers the perfect amount of light coverage, i either go in with blush or bronzer.  for bronzer i’m still loving the hourglass diffused bronze light and for blush i’ve been reaching for the pixi multibalm in baby petal.  add a little rms living luminizer and the face is done!bb early am2.jpgfor lips it’s usually lip balm, but sometimes i’ll do a little bit of the burt’s bees lipstick in nile nude.  it’s the PERFECT neutral nude that lightens the lips up in a healthy, juicy way.  very moisturizing and even a minimalist like me can enjoy it daily.

so that’s that!  if i have an extra second i’ll spritz my face with some rosewater or some sort of hydrosol.  basically my aesthetic here is to be fresh-faced and put together, but simple and clean.  what’s your go-to work makeup routine?

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makeup for a minimalist: the vanity

bb vanity1.jpgaka my desk.  everything i keep out for daily use and easy access…

bb vanity3.jpgtop drawer: base // 

becca backlight priming filter

ilia sheer vivid tinted moisturizer in t2, usually mixed with glossier perfecting skin tint in medium

tarte shape tape in fair beige – glossier stretch concealer in light

hourglass ambient lighting bronzer in diffused bronze light

rms unpowder sample in 0-1 – glossier haloscope in quartzbb vanity4.jpgmiddle drawer: cheeks and eyes // 

clinique cheek pop blush in melon pop

ilia multistick in tenderly – rms lip2cheek in vogue rose

nars matte multiple in altai (used for bronzer or eye shadow)

nars pro prime eyeshadow base

neutrogena nourishing eyeliner in spiced chocolate (foam eye shadow applicator for smudging)

covergirl lashblast volume mascara in black/brown

mac extended play gigablack lash mascara

glossier boy brow in brown

maybelline eye shadow in earthly taupe (discontinued)

nars eyeshadow in lhasa (discontinued) – mac duo in wedge and corkbb vanity5.jpgbottom drawer: lips //

kosas lipstick in stardust – glossier coconut balm dotcom

nars pure matte lipsticks in madere and montego bay

bite beauty lip gloss in rambutan

glossier generation g’s in zip and cake

osmia lip doctor – burt’s bees lipstick in nile nude

bite beauty luminous creme lipstick in retsina (discontinued but found at tj maxx)

bite beauty lip pencil in 008bb vanity6.jpgtools // 

nude beauty blender // on perfume tray

bobbi brown full coverage face brush // foundation

real techniques deluxe crease brush // concealer

real techniques setting brush // glossier concealer and/or powder

it cosmetics heavenly luxe wand ball powder brush no 8 // bronzer

real techniques multitask brush // blush and/or powder

target kabuki brush // densely packed for sheer blushes

mac 239, 242, 217 // various eye shadow purposes

sephora crease shadow brush // crease blending (discontinued)

surratt eye lash curler – tweezerman tweezers – revlon eyebrow spooliebb vanity7.jpgperfume // 

estee lauder bronze goddess (will be put away soon until next summer)

aura blends desert night oil – le labo santal 33

maison louis marie no4 bois de balincourt oil

elizabeth and james nirvana black oil

etc. //

marc jacobs coconut primer (i’m teaching now and this keeps my makeup fresh all day; while i mentioned it here it is serving more of a purpose now!)

tatcha luminous dewy skin mist // thank you sephora for this travel size and start to an addiction 😦

j.hannah nail polishes in ghost ranch, watermelon, irisbb vanity2.jpgmirror: daiso via ebay

wooden tray: container store

drawers: homegoods

sorry ya’ll, links just weren’t gonna happen for this one…

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the baby bohemian approach to feeling better

you might be sensing a bit of a theme here on baby bohemian these days – your girl is feeling low.  like i said in this post, it’s just something that happens to me from time to time and i’m pretty good at self-soothing and letting myself revel in and then break free of the funk.  besides lounging around and binging on books/movies/tv/youtube videos, i also find it extremely helpful to get out and get active.  so here’s a real life account of how i made myself feel better last weekend.  side note, all of my friends happened to be busy or away this particular weekend, so that’s why it was a very solitary one.  usually i recommend dinner and/or drinks with friends; that almost always cheers me right up.Screen Shot 2017-09-08 at 10.13.50 AM.png1 // work up a sweat.  i can hear my mother now: you know you always feel better after you work out!  eye rolls aside, this advice is absolutely true.  even though i don’t always feel like endorphins work on me (anyone else feel worse about yourself after working out?!), when i’m feeling sad this really is the best pick me up.  going to yoga class, running outside, or going to the gym is a quick fix that gets me dressed, out of the house, and moving my tush.  plus i consider sweating basically a good cry for the body, and sometimes that’s exactly what you need.

2 // explore your neighborhood.  taking pictures is one of my favorite hobbies.  many years ago i invested in a ridiculously expensive camera (i clearly thought i was going to be the next diane arbus but i don’t have to tell you how that turned out) and i make an effort to use it whenever i can.  i have considered selling it many times, but it’s just one of those things that’s nice to have once you have it.  last weekend i walked around my sweet college town, just taking pictures of flowers and houses and anything else that caught my eye.  it’s such an easy activity and don’t feel like you need a big ass camera to do it.  i usually have a disposable camera hanging around and quite honestly those usually end up being my favorite pictures anyway.  you can even fit in the aforementioned exercise at the same time!  bb bloomington1.jpgbb bloomington4.jpgbb bloomington6.jpgbb bloomington2.jpgbb bloomington3.jpgbb bloomington5.jpg3 // find a street fair or farmer’s market.  this is a harder one, but now that fall is coming i bet it will be easier than you think.  i attended both my weekly farmer’s market and a labor day street fair last weekend and both lifted my spirits tremendously.  i got a gorgeous bouquet of end of summer/fall flowers and two bulbs of fresh garlic at the farmer’s market, along with a farmer’s market tote that is huge and perfect for grocery shopping.  i popped the flowers in a mason jar and they have already lifted my spirits and had a couple recipes that i wanted to attempt last week, so the garlic is being put to good use!  i also stumbled upon a labor day street/art fair in my town this weekend.  there were probably 50 artisan booths from all over the country.  i picked up a gorgeous handmade mug with the most stunning colors – the artisan is from maine and told me he mixes all of his colors by hand.  i am a huge mug collector and i couldn’t resist this beauty.  sometimes all you need is to make your morning coffee that little bit more special.  bb instagram1.JPGbb sunny mug.jpg4 // get ready for the week.  sometimes it’s as simple as getting ready for the days ahead.  i was babysitting my sisters dog last week so i wasn’t been at my own home very much, but when i was i made the most of my time.  from cleaning and organizing to laundry and dishes, i made my space clean and fresh for the coming week.  i also did some meal planning (new for me, sadly!!) and completed a very thorough grocery shop.  trust me, preparing your space, clothes, and fridge will clear your mind and make you feel more organized and ready to start a new week.

5 // prep blog posts.  now you might not have a blog, but any kind of creative project will do here.  writing posts and taking pictures is one of the greatest creative joys i have, so it’s (usually) relaxing to spend time doing so.  it can be stressful and sometimes sets me off on the wrong path, but typically i can relish in the creativity even if i’m not feeling as inspired as a i’d like to be.  even spending time on pinterest can give me the motivation to make a collage or set up a flat lay, and creativity just can’t be discounted in my opinion.  bb instagram2.JPG

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finding home

haven home 1.jpglast summer, i met a sweet, sweet guy.  he is different from almost anyone else i have ever met.  we dated for a little bit and though things didn’t work out, i count him as a dear friend.

he is wild.  he is free.  he is natural.  he finds solace in the simple things, like driving for hours when you really, really don’t know where you’re going.  he is a climber, an adventurer, an athlete.  he is brave and kind.  he is shy, quiet, intelligent, and so charming.

he stopped to see me a few days ago, while driving across the country.  we met for coffee just off i-90.  he had stopped in wisconsin the night before to crash with some people he had only recently met.  he is the kind of guy who does that, and whom people invite to do that.  he shared his recent adventures with me, from ditching guards at the grand canyon so that he could continue hiking without a reservation to, literally, chasing waterfalls.  he told me about the tough times of being so alone and he told me about the inexplicable beauty of living so close to nature.  he shared lines from his favorite author, what his sisters are doing, his next location.

this friend reaches a part of me that few people reach.  he inspires me.  he makes me want to do more and be more – to follow my heart wherever that may lead.  he reminds me that life is not about achievements or possessions, it is about finding home, even if it’s in a sleeping bag in the back of your car.haven home 2.jpga few days after seeing my friend,  i was at anthropologie browsing the sale section, wasting time really.  i came across an indie magazine that i had never seen before, called haven.  perhaps serendipitously, the theme of this particular issue is home and finding it – inside people, coffee shops, dorm rooms.  finding it around a campfire, at the dinner table, in the back of a camper van.

for my whole life, home has meant where my parents are, where my family is, where i grew up.  and this, i am certain, will always be the case.  but in a few months, i will finally be able to create my own home.  it certainly won’t be my forever home, but it will be my first home.  it will be my own space to figure out what it really means to live.  it will welcome me and it will welcome others.  it will incorporate all the people that i have known, the things i have loved and learned, the experiences that make me who i am – as all homes do.  it will remind me of my friend and the lessons he has taught me.haven home 3.jpg

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