remember me?!

oh hi!  remember me?!?!  i mentioned a little bit about my current wifi situation on instagram, but let me go into a little more detail.  i am currently finishing my master’s degree by teaching on the navajo reservation in arizona. so far it’s going really really well, and the only hiccup is that i don’t have wifi in my room (i’m living in the dorm attached to the high school with other students).  i’ve been able to pick up wifi here and there, and a kind teacher told me i can pop by his place whenever i need to use the internet, so hopefully i will be able to start posting again. i did start another blog to record my journey, mostly for family and school purposes, but feel free to follow me over there as well if you’re interested: leahgoeswest.wordpress.com (though again, it’s been difficult for me to post).IMG_3377  truly this experience has already been pretty incredible, and though not everything has been smooth, nor will it be in its entirety, i’m so excited to be on this adventure that i’ve been planning for a long time.  if anyone has any suggestions of things i need to see/places i need to go while i’m in the southwest, please let me know!! i want to go any and everywhere.  i’m currently spending labor day weekend in durango, colorado and don’t ever want to leave this state so that’s a new development!IMG_3407 i have a very limited selection of “things” with me – makeup, skincare, clothes, accessories – so i thought it might be fun to look at the things that i’m missing the most. nothing like being separated from your belongings for 4 months to show you what you really love.

// s t y l e //

coach duffle bag // i have mentioned this bag before on the blog, but this is my favorite purse of any that i own.  it’s a vintage (i think 70s) black leather coach duffle, which is one of their most iconic shapes.  it’s essentially a big bucket bag with an adjustable strap – so i either wear it close to my underarm or even crossbody if it’s extra heavy.  it’s such a classic shape and style and fits my everyday life. i miss you bb! i’m sorry i couldn’t bring you!

baggy levi’s 501s // i have a bunch of levi’s but i only brought my 501 skinnies.  my baggy ones are perfectly soft, worn in, and ripped, and i love that they’re slightly cropped (i cut them myself naturally) and slightly too big.  i love them for every season, with sneakers, with birks, with army boots.  i actually thought that i packed them, but apparently not!  i have no clue what wash i have, but i linked a similar looking pair.

black skinny strap rainbows // i absolutely live in my black rainbows all summer long (and every pair of rainbows i’ve ever had since 7th grade).  i didn’t bring them in favor of my birks, but i wish i had these just for simplicity’s sake.  i do find myself wearing socks with birkenstocks quite a bit these days, which is probably not a habit i should get into!!!!

cape cod bracelets // i love my two little silver bangles with silver or gold screw balls.  is anyone else familiar with these?  i usually wear them during the summer and then phase them out come fall, but i didn’t do that this year and i don’t have them with me.  i go through phases of wearing a lot of necklaces or a lot of bracelets, and right now i’m forgoing both to be simple and under-the-radar.  no fun!bb feather // b e a u t y //

igk 1995 shampoo // i’m in love with this texturing shampoo.  it just wasn’t feasible for me to bring something so particular and that i don’t use every time i wash my hair, but this is my favorite texturing shampoo of the few i’ve tried.  the r+co cactus shampoo is my second in command, but the 1995 is just a little grittier.

dedcool fragrance 02 // i don’t wear perfume enough to justify bringing it (i just brought my usual sandalwood fragrance oil), but i really miss this scent.  it’s one of those that just melts into your skin and seems like what you actually smell like, a little bit woodsy and masculine, a little bit clean, a little bit warm.  sandalwood is my favorite scent of all time, and that is the base of 02 with something extra.IMG_3349bb dorm. . .

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practicing growth

Screen shot 2018-08-05 at 2.03.16 PM.pngthe mistakes, the anger, the passion, the shards of our love are all around.

doomed from the start, i ignored the signs, promises of kisses cured feelings, words healed wounds inflicted by your broken soul.

you shoot me when you are down, you try to get me to your level, you spout the words you think are true but are just misguided, anything i say you claim i play the victim.

you disgust me and then come crawling back.  i forgive you in the name of mental anguish, darkness, and pain.  today is enough, you pushed me too far.

i am strong. i am beautiful.  i am destined for the whole world.  and i will not be reduced to the partner of an angry, lost man.

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words are my own, image from the goddess rebellion

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a brief note & insta roundup

my bohemians!  i’m sorry i have been so absent on the blog and instagram.  a brief explanation…i’m back in summer school after only 3 days off, i moved out of my apartment and am living with my sister, brother-in-law, and their dog baby, my long distance lover is back in town, and i can’t find a good set up for taking pictures.  alllllll of that being said, i will be back in action asap and better than ever (let’s hope)!

big love to you all & happy sunday!  and in the mean time, here are some recent instagram snaps if you need a little catch-up. bb insta1.pngbb insta2.pngbb insta3.pngbb insta6.pngbb insta5.pngbb insta4.pngbb insta7.pngbb insta8.pngbb insta9.png. . .

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thoughts on: appreciating the past

i knew i wanted to write something today, but wasn’t feeling inspired by anything.  as luck would have it, the text chain with my mom and sisters provided something for me to muse on.bb thoughts on the pastmy mom was sending us baby pictures to see how my niece compares to us, when she sent us one from my sister’s 8th grade graduation.  she had dyed hair (boy was she in trouble) but otherwise looks adorably adorable.  her reaction?  the expected “yikes.”  my response?  enjoy and appreciate the past.

easier said than done, for sure.  but why?  why is it so hard to appreciate all the mistakes we made, all the cringe-y moments that we hate to think back on?  we all have those.  if you don’t, you aren’t a person.  and i truly mean that.  of course we look back and have second hand embarrassment for how we looked or what we said.  we have regrets, maybe small ones if you’re lucky, but regrets all the same.

without the trials and tribulations of life, we wouldn’t be where we are today.  i very firmly believe that.  and i don’t mean that we have to have had the fight of our lives.  the everyday mistakes that we make change us for the better.  we learn and we grow from everything we do, good and bad.  everything we experience, witness, hear, understand, empathize with, sympathize with.  we are ever-evolving organisms that can adapt to any sort of adversity.  especially the adversity within ourselves.

i guess my point here is not to shun the past.  not to be ashamed of silly outfits, weird hair-dos (i use to wear an insanely big bun smack dab on the top of my head – much to the enjoyment of my less than kind peers), stupid comments, tears shed in public places.  all of these factors result in the magical souls that we are today.  the past is there for a reason, to remind us of where we come from and why we are who we are.  and that, i think, is worth cherishing.

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march picks

bb march picks3.jpg// makeup & skincare //

pacifica coconut essence hydro mist // soooo hydrating and leaves the skin insanely dewy.  like more than tatcha dewy skin mist.  the skin just feels and looks ridiculously healthy.  did i mention it’s $10? plus it’s pacifica, so the ingredients are reliable and pretty darn good.bb march picks5.jpgw3ll people mascara // i mentioned this mascara in my first picks of the year, but at that time i was still using a small sample size.  sometimes i find that full size products differ from their miniature counterparts, but in this case the full size is just as good if not better.  length and volume in a beautifully natural way.

glossier perfecting skin tint in medium // this is always a product i have somewhere and go back to time and again.  even when my skin is at its worst, i love this product.  it evens the skin out just the tiniest touch while looking like glowy nothingness.  i’m using the shade medium since i got the tiniest tan while in california, but i use light or a mix of light and medium in the winter.bb march picks2.jpgmychelle sun shield liquid tint in nude // finally a lightweight, non-white mineral sunscreen.  this shade is a little dark for me now, so it will be perfect over the summer when i get more color.  for now, i love mixing it with my bare minerals complexion rescue in opal if i want more coverage than the glossier skin tint and since my skin is a little sunkissed from california.  they are a perfect mix with a great dewy, hydrated finish.  i think they just realized an untinted version as well.bb march picks1.jpgneutrogena grapefruit body clear // since going off birth control i’ve had some pretty big breakouts on my chest and back.  and the best product for clearing up the body is hands-down this neutrogena body wash.  i’ve been using this since high school and it never fails.  this did have microbeads in it forever and it still has some sort of bead, but i think it’s safer for the environment now…not 100% sure on this.bb march picks4.jpg// etc //

slouching towards bethlehem, joan didion // i am finally delving into joan didion’s works (honestly where have i been?) and am absolutely in love with her.  surprise, surprise!  more to come, but slouching towards bethlehem is a collection of her short stories, most revolving around california during the 60s and 70s.  delicious, truly.bb march picks6.jpglove season 3 // i really enjoyed seasons 1 & 2 of love, but at the same time wasn’t 100% sure.  but when season 3 came around, my love (hehe) for the show really solidified.  they did such an incredible job with the final season – it was truly the perfect wrap up.  and the last episode?  are you kidding?  all the heart eye emojis.

eye buy direct ethereal glasses // my sister told me about eye buy direct, and how affordable and cool their sunglasses are.  i tried to not buy these, but ultimately couldn’t resist.  i originally got polarized lenses but they bothered by eyes, so the company kindly switched the lenses to normal ones, for just the $6 shipping cost (plus a refund for the special lenses).  pretty great customer service and i love knowing these were made especially for me.  mine are the ethereal glasses in champagne with green lenses.bb march picks8.jpgbb march picks7.jpg

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a sunday story

// on my agenda today //bb sunday story.jpegcoffee for hours in bed, while:

// binging on one of my favorite blogs, waiting for saturday.  they haven’t posted in over a year, but i haven’t browsed in a while, so even the old posts feel new.  still waiting for a return, however.

// watching matilda’s videos, for the 500th time each.

// listening to anna burch’s newish album, quit the curse.  she brings the spring and summer vibe, even when there’s fresh snow on the ground.

// not thinking about all the work and cleaning i need to do today.

and then later…

// doing all the work and cleaning i need to do today.

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the student teaching essentials

i’ve mentioned here and there that i am now student teaching full time…and that requires a lot of supplies, let me tell you.  aside from all the actual classroom essentials, which include the catcher in the rye, my notebook, and my school laptop, i like to have a whole set of items and products that i may need.  it sounds like a lot and it sounds extreme, but i find i feel so much more confident when i feel prepared and like i have all the supplies i could ever possibly need.  

has anyone ever read the children’s book, chrysanthemum?  well chrysanthemum is a little mouse that is teased at school because of her name.  to combat this, she fills her favorite jacket with all her most prized possessions to give her extra confidence.  and this is EXACTLY what i do too.bb student tch1.jpg makeup items //

bare minerals perfecting veil powder with elf retractable brush // i always carry this bare minerals powder (discontinued) that my sister gave me with my handy dandy elf brush.  i will also occasionally throw in my mineral fusion pressed powder as well, if i feel like i need a little more coverage throughout the day.  i don’t always use a powder, but i have found that something about the school environment/air/lights make me feel a lot oilier than usual.bb student tch5.jpgspot concealer // i keep my sephora concealer in 03 meringue in my bag ALWAYS.  you just never know, ok!  i’ll occasionally pop my nars creamy concealer in there too if i really need it.

mini tweezerman tweezers // you truly never know when you will need tweezers.  a stray nose hair, a makeup brush hair that won’t get off your face, a splinter…you feel me.

maybelline brow brush // i aaaalways need a little brow brush up.

clarins instant light lip comfort oil in honey // this is the lip product that has been on my lips for the past 2 months straight.  it looks like a gloss but feels like a balm and honey is the perfect, almost-clear shade.  it makes me feel put together but also hydrates the lips beautifully.  i transfer this from pocket to pocket and purse to purse, but right now it’s living at school with me.bb student tch4.jpgkorres lip butter in jasmine // another balm that gives me more oomph than just a balm does.  i love the light nudey pink shade of this and it’s one of my all time favorite lip products.  you know i love a lip product that lightens the lips just a teensy bit.  i just wish it wasn’t in a pot because i only use it right after i’ve washed my hands.

sephora coconut lip balm // my mom and i both looove this balm!  it smells amazing and feels amazing.  need i say more?  great simple balm that i always have around somewhere.

super old sephora mirror compact // for when i don’t feel like whipping out my powder.

daily essentials // bb student tch3.jpghand sanitizer // currently using bronner’s.  i don’t know how anyone can work in a school, or really anywhere, without a good hand sanitizer.  life essential, people.  i also carry wet ones hand wipes with me for more serious situations! 

hand lotion // my lotion of choice is a travel size gold bond.  99 cents at target.  yes.  it can also double as a face cream if necessary as it’s not exclusively a hand cream. 

hair clips and twisties // duuuuhhhhh!

mouthwash // DUH!  as a teacher i am super aware of my coffee breath.  mouthwash is an absolute non-negotiable.

the extras that i don’t really use but like to have //

tide to go, lint brush, bandaids, lactaid, imodium, tissues // every single one of these products shows you who i really am.  don’t believe what instagram shows you.  i am a grandma.bb student tch2.jpgso i know this sounds like an absolute load of products, but all my essentials fit into a glossier pink pouch and my makeup items fit into a very small mac travel bag.  i leave everything in my backpack/school bag so i don’t have to think about anything until i need it!

am i missing anything?  what products do you keep with you on a daily basis?

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december & january picks

i didn’t do a december picks in 2017 in favor of my 2017 discoveries post, but there were a lot of products that i got into at the end of the year.  so december and january picks it is!  as everyone else in the world has been saying, january was a ridiculously long and grey month, so i’m looking forward to february and just 28 days.  happy happy, my dear bohemians!

skincare & haircare //

cetaphil moisturizing cream // my winter standby.  it hydrates my skin so intensely and gives me a nice glow.  it’s simple, but extremely effective and reliable.bb decjan picks6.jpgmad hippie cleansing cream // i love mad hippie and this cleanser is no exception.  i purchased this at whole foods while home for christmas and have been using it ever since.  it’s very hydrating but still cleansing, which can be a difficult balance for cleansing creams or more lotion-based cleansers.  if you have dry skin and are looking for an eco cleanser, i think you’ll enjoy this!

jordan samuel hydrate 4 oz. // you all know i love this serum, but i had to mention the new 4 oz size.  i am so pleased that jordan released this super size product.  it’s pricey but actually results in a great amount of savings.  and 1 oz for serum is just too easy to get through.  bb decjan picks5.jpgr&co cactus shampoo // this seems to be my winter hair product of choice.  i have long toted this as giving me my “summer” hair in the winter, and i still stand by that description.  texturizing and thickening, but doesn’t leave the hair sticky or clumpy.  i’m on my second bottle since my original purchase last winter!

makeup //bb decjan picks2.jpgnars radiant creamy concealer in vanilla // while i was loving the sephora full coverage concealer for half of december and half of january, i’m back to my nars creamy.  i don’t know why but this is just my favorite concealer of all time.  i usually stray when i feel like the color is oxidizing on me, but it must depend on what i wear underneath because it’s not doing that right now.  it’s just perfect for blemishes and lasts all day.  i’m sorry i leave you sometimes, my sweet.

bare minerals complexion rescue gel tint in opal // i tried this a really long time ago and hated it, but i wanted to try it out again.  and i love it!  the shade opal is perfect for my winter skin and it gives me the perfect boost of hydration and glow while the tint remains remaining sheer and perfecting on the skin.  i highly recommend this for all “tinted moisturizer is still too much” people like myself.

charlotte tilbury filmstar bronze and glow // this was my birthday splurge and i am so pleased i finally took the plunge.  the bronzer is absolutely perfect in that it’s light enough for my winter skin but can be built up when i have more color.  it sinks into the skin for an undetectable finish.  the highlighter definitely gets less use as i’m not a big highlighter person, but i have been wearing it as an eyeshadow for a bit of something.  i knew going into this purchase that i wouldn’t use the highlighter as much, so it really has been perfect for me.

w3ll people mascara // i know it seems like i’m always on the hunt for my next mascara, and i really am.  i had a sample size of this mascara so when i felt like a change from my maybelline volume blast, i knew this is where i would go.  and i must say i’m extremely impressed.  eco mascaras seem to be a tough category to perfect, but this mascara remains natural looking while lengthening and volumizing the lashes.  not a ton of volume, but really the perfect amount for me.  i’ve even gotten compliments on my lashes while wearing this!  when my sample size runs out i do think i will purchase the full size, which is saying something.bb decjan picks3.jpg  mineral fusion pressed powder in cool 1 // i know i’ve mentioned this somewhere else, but i purchased this after my alima pure pressed foundation smashed to smitherines.  and i love it!  it’s quite pricey but easy to find on sale if you do a little digging.  the powder itself is extremely finely milled so it never looks powdery on the skin at all.  it sets my concealer and t-zone without ever taking away my glow.  highly recommend if you are looking for a clean powder with lighter coverage. bb decjan picks4.jpg clarins instant light lip comfort oil in honey // this is the lip product that has been on my lips for the past 2 months straight.  it looks like a gloss but feels like a balm.  it makes me feel put together while still hydrating and treating my lips.  expensive for sure, but i love it!  the shade honey is essentially clear, but sort of warms up the lips if that makes sense.  the shades are all sheer tints, but they do have some reds and pinks if you are wanting a little bit of color.

shows, coffee, & extras //

lovesick // a great, easy to watch netflix/british series.  i am sooo sad that i’ve watched all the episodes and am not so patiently waiting for another season to be released.  lovesick is super funny and cute, but with a little touch of seriousness and reality.  check it out!

rita // another netflix show that i just happened upon.  rita is danish, but i never mind using subtitles.  this show is quite different from anything else i watch in that it is about a school and all the issues the teachers deal with.  sounds boring but i absolutely adore it.  more serious than lovesick, but not in a bad way at all.bb decjan picks1.jpg devotion by patti smith // my sister got me this book for christmas and it’s actually SIGNED BY PATTI.  i almost died, as i’m sure you can imagine.  i’ve actually already read it twice, the first time within two days of receiving it.  it’s quite different from her other works in that it is separated into three parts: the first about her creation of the story, the second being the story itself, and the third being why she writes.  it’s a beautiful gem and if you love patti you need to read it.  asap.

swell x target coffee thermos // the best thermos i’ve been able to find!  i bring coffee with me to school every day and i found my other thermos was cooling down within a few hours.  this keeps my coffee hot and delicious and, most importantly, is very easy to clean.  they have a ton of colors at target and it’s very reasonably priced compared to swell’s other products and just other coffee thermos that have good reviews.  a necessity, if you ask me!

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resolutions for my 25th year

my birthday, fortunately and unfortunately, is in the first week of the new year.  while i always come up with new year’s resolutions – and pretty immediately disregard them – this year i’m making resolutions for my new year.  life is pretty hectic and full of change these days, so with these resolutions i’m really looking to ground myself, stick to my routines, and work hard to keep working hard.bb resolutions.JPG// be kind and gentle to myself // truth be told i am absolutely horrible at this, as most of us are.  i think i’ve mentioned this before, but there’s a line that lena dunham mentions at the end of the first season of girls, along the lines of “you could never hate me more than i hate myself, or say worse things than i say to myself.”  and i feel this.  too much.  as humans we are our own harshest critics, but if i can’t treat myself kindly and with gentleness and love, how can i expect others to?  this is a concept that i’ve been working on for years after my sweet therapist flat out told me to do so in those exact words.  i will keep trying, because i deserve it.

// weekend workouts // i’m sorry to mention a workout resolution, but it’s needed!  starting january 8th, i am student teaching full time, 5 days a week.  so with the 8+ hour school day and my 2+ hour commute, i know there is no way i will be working out through the week.  so weekends are my goal.  and that’s just two days – even i can manage that!  i’m desperate to get back into my yoga practice and even running.  i go in and out with my workout habits but i am actually looking forward to taking care of myself in this way again.  are you sensing a theme here?

// become a more experimental cook // or a cook at all!  i’m so bad with meal planning and prep, but i really really want to get better at it.  i’m going to try to be more forward-thinking when i go to the grocery store and have some go-to meals that i can make without too much effort.  actually, i make a great work lunch, but it’s the dinners that i struggle with.  it’s a serious problem when cereal is your favorite food!

// produce less waste // this is a really important one for me.  i’m good about carrying a water bottle and coffee thermos (this is the best one i’ve found) with me all the time, but i have other goals for my waste production.  some of them include: stop using cotton pads in my skincare routine (i’ve been using my hands for my witch hazel but still use cotton for makeup removal), using rags for cleaning instead of paper towels, using more reusable containers for work lunches (i’m looking at purchasing some lunchbots stainless containers), and making use of the bulk section at my grocery store and health food store.  i think these are super easy changes and i am looking forward to making them – now that’s the mark of a good resolution!

// be ok when i slip up // i say this in regards to these resolutions and so many other areas of my life.  like i said earlier, i can be so hard on myself, and as i am entering student teaching i already fear the daily mistakes i am going to make.  i am going to try my darnedest to accept my failures and respond to them accordingly, without getting upset or looking down on myself.  this is probably the hardest resolution i am going to work on, but it’s an important one.

do you have any resolutions for your new year?  happy happy and fresh starts to all!

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